[P] Nothing Compares [Kaleb]

[victoriabennett]

walking down brick lane feeling blue

wind blowing lightly and i picture you

It had been a long time since Victoria had last spoken to someone, since she had last considered someone to be her friend. Vicky had felt very alone over the past few weeks, though it had mostly been of her own choice. The other girls in her dormitory had clearly been concerned about her almost constant presence in the dorm, though they had luckily known to keep their distance and leave her alone. Even she wasn't sure why she had isolated herself, but the time had come for her to creep out of her recent shell.

She wanted to start again. Vicky had been fine until that one event in her sixth year. If only she hadn't decided to muck around that lesson, everything would have been fine. She would never have had a detention with her Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, she would never have slept with him, she would never have done it again the following year. She would never have turned into a slut, the exact type of person that she turned her nose up at.

The lawns seemed welcoming to her that day, and Vicky had chosen to venture out into the grounds later in the afternoon when there would be less people. She had done so much thinking, and now she just needed someone to talk to, to talk to about anything in the world, it didn't have to be relevant to why she had shut herself away. It had just turned quarter to four, and the sky was turning a shade darker. A bench caught her eye and Victoria walked over to it, sitting down and just looking ahead of her with no particular focus. How she had missed the world around her.

tagged ;; kaleb garcia!
words ;; two eight nine!
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lyrics ;; nothing compares - pixie lott!
credits ;; me!

[kaleb]

It had been so long since Kaleb talked to anyone other than Zane. Well, saying anything more than a few words anyway. But he didn’t even count that as a conversation, where as the one with Zane had been so meaningful, so impacting. The past few days since the Zane thing began, he had changed dramatically, he could see that himself, so he had been shunned by many people who decided he was ‘going soft’ when in fact the walls were crumbling and they were seeing the true Kaleb for the first time. He couldn’t believe at first, that someone could have so much impact, that someone could change his life so much with just one kiss. It confused him, it made him yell, made him scream, and then it made him question the very thing he was sure of.

Kaleb had been frequenting the lawns a lot recently, as it was not only the place he’d met Zane, but it was also pretty empty thanks to winter, and no one wanting to spend too long in the cold. He was dressed in his jeans and a long sleeved stripy top, it kept him warm enough, so he didn’t need a jacket. His head was cold, though, so he’d once again added in Zane’s beanie. He wore it a lot recently, he found it helped him feel a lot more secure, more safe, more himself even. He’d tugged a pair of grey sneakers on and headed outside. He wandered around for awhile, granting his thoughts release to think about Zane, something he tried not to do so much, as it made him miss him a lot.

Kaleb walked aimlessly for awhile, before finding a bench. He spotted it a little way away and made a beeline for it. It was then that he realised that the bench had one occupant. It was someone he hadn’t talked to in a long while, in fact, he wasn’t even sure if they really had talked! He and Vicky had been together once, in the girls bathroom, thanks to an honest mistake. And he had to admit that the sparks he’d felt then were still there. But the old Kaleb wasn’t. He slid next to her on the bench, feeling the odd urge to say something. ”Uh, hey, I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m Kaleb”

[/color] He said, his hand waving slightly as he spoke.

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[victoriabennett]

walking down brick lane feeling blue

wind blowing lightly and i picture you

Vicky ignored the faint sound of footsteps thudding gently on the grass until they approached her. They stopped, and she noticed a figure sitting down beside her on the bench. She pretended that they weren't there for a few moments as she thought about who it could be who was seated at her side. Victoria was a nice person, for the most part anyway, but no names came to mind. She turned her head to face him, the sight of Kaleb Garcia meeting her.

Everything that she had been trying to forget flooded back into her, the memories of Zane's office, his apartment, her meeting with Kaleb in the girls' bathroom, as well as all of the other boys she had kissed pointlessly during her time at Hogwarts. He spoke to her, showing no signs that what they had done in the past had affected him in any way. However, he did seem different, less like the arrogant Slytherin that paraded the corridors and more like the kind-at-heart boy that she had...

That was enough on the subject for Vicky, this was a new time and a new place, and she felt that they had both changed for the better. Little did she know that it had been the same man that had altered their ways.
"Yeah, you're hard to forget." She replied, though was instantly concerned that what she had said may be taken the wrong way.
"In a good way though. It's rare that you get to meet a decent Slytherin."

tagged ;; kaleb garcia!
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[kaleb]

Kaleb wondered how much he’d changed, how obvious it was that he’d been so affected by something that it changed his entire presentation of himself. He didn’t know how something could effect him so, but he knew that it had, and he loved that fact! He loved that he was no longer the cold hearted Slytherin, who hid himself behind a mask, who kept his heart cold so he didn’t end up getting hurt or hurting someone. Now he was actually a decent human being, well, compared to what he used to be that is! He wondered if she knew something had changed, if she sensed that he wasn’t the same man that had been with her mindlessly, and didn’t even care who she was because he was with her. He’d used her, yes, and he was sure she’d done exactly the same thing anyway.

Suddenly Kaleb’s memories took him back to the bathroom, and then to all the other pointless flirting and kisses that he’d had with all the girls who’s name he’d forgotten. But he hadn’t forgotten Vicky, no, she was the Gryffindor, the only Gryffindor he’d been with, and probably the last too. ”Well, It’s hard to forget you too, Vicky. A Gryffindor and a Slytherin, what a pair huh? And thank you, There aren‘t many of us”

[/color] He said, laughing slightly. His hand went to his head to adjust his beanie, as the wind blew it slightly askew. Then he extended it back to Vicky. ”It’s nice to meet you formerly, I guess”[/color] he said, a crooked smile on his lips. He was thinking of Zane again, as always.

The image of Zane’s face filled his mind, something was reminding himself of Zane, he guessed it was the beanie, and shrugged it off. It didn’t take much to get him thinking of Zane now anyway, as he was always there in the back of Kaleb’s mind. And how could he not think about something so life changing, that he’d actually become nice. It was something that effected him dramatically, so it was natural to think about it a lot.
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[victoriabennett]

walking down brick lane feeling blue

wind blowing lightly and i picture you

"A very fragile pair, but a pair all the same." Vicky replied with a soft smile, Hermione and Draco coming to mind. It was possibly the most unlikely pairing that she could think of, but it was working, for now anyway. She began to wonder what life would be like if she were to marry a Slytherin. What would it be like? Victoria couldn't guess; it all depended on the person you married, and Slytherins were very unpredictable. His comment about there being few decent Slytherins led her to say,
"It's what makes you all the more special."

Her eyes followed his hand as he moved it up to his head, readjusting the peculiar beanie that sat on top of it. She frowned slightly, knowing that she'd seen the beanie somewhere before, and had thought it a strange design ever since she had first seen it. It had belonged to the man she had been trying to forget as of late, and recognised it as having sat to one side of the desk on top of several pieces of parchment.
"Where did you get that beanie?" She asked, erasing the frown from her expression.

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[kaleb]

Kaleb smiled a little at her description of them. She’d got it spot on, as he’d never felt any more fragile than now. And although he knew that wasn’t the way she’d meant it, he couldn’t help but hear it as that way. ”Fragile, yes. What is more fragile than a Lion and a snake?”

[/color] He asked aloud, although silently he was thinking a Professor and a student would be pretty fragile. If someone found out about them, then their whole reality could shatter, just like glass, and that was fragile. ” Great, so that’s why I’m special, just need to know why I’m so damn stupid sometimes now!”[/color] He said with a bitter laugh. He’d gotten himself into a relationship with a male teacher. And the fact that it was a male teacher made it a little worse, as before that kiss he was sure he was straight, then he just got so confused it was evil!

Kaleb watched as her eyes followed her hands and rested on the beanie. She wasn’t the first person to look at it, although it was a curious and rare thing. The first person who really recognised it was Zane’s best friend from school, Coal. Kaleb didn’t like him very much at all. His heart sunk when she asked about it. He tried to tell himself to relax, as how would she know who it belonged to? He’d just say the same think that he told Coal and hope she left it at that. Maybe she just wanted one for a friend of hers or something. ”Wh..uhhh, a friend gave it to me.”[/color] He said, not meeting her eyes. He’d lost all capability of lying convincingly since his mask had slipped off, although that was the one thing he missed about the old him, and the one thing that would come in handy right now.
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[victoriabennett]

walking down brick lane feeling blue

wind blowing lightly and i picture you

"An eagle's neck. Ravenclaws think they're so smart." Vicky replied as he asked what was more fragile than a Lion and a Snake, though she had known that he hadn't actually expected an answer. Being a Gryffindor, she'd answered anyway. It was surprising just how alike Gryffindor and Slytherin were as houses, despite being sworn enemies. Why he had called himself stupid, Victoria didn't know.
"Why do you think you're stupid? You're a damn sight cleverer than any other Slytherin I've met."

It was very obvious that he was avoiding making eye contact with her, and Vicky wouldn't have suspected anything of his answer had he not done what he was doing. Most people would have simply shook it off, after all, there was bound to be more than one of that beanie. Then again, Hogwarts was smaller than everyone thought, and there was little involvement with anywhere except Hogwarts during term time.
"Would that friend happen to teach... I don't know, Defence Against the Dark Arts?" She asked, her conclusion that the beanie had once belonged to Zane clearly shown through her tone.

tagged ;; kaleb garcia!
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[kaleb]

Kaleb smiled at her answer to his almost rhetorical question. He hadn’t expected an answer, no, but being a Gryffindor she had to. ”Yeah they do, it gets annoying actually”

[/color] Kaleb said with a smirk, and it did. He hated people thinking they knew everything, because they didn’t. They didn’t know what was out there in space, they didn’t know the damage that an unforgivable curse could do by experience, and they didn’t know how he felt at that moment. Merlin, he didn’t even know how he was feeling at that moment, so how would a smart raven claw. He wondered what house Zane was in, he thought it was Slytherin, but he wasn’t sure. That would make two decent Slytherin! ”I think I’m stupid because some choices I made could be a lot better”[/color] he said honestly, wondering what she’d make of his obvious personality change.

Kaleb’s stomach flipped as he heard the words she’d said. He hung his head again, not able to meet her eyes. How did she know? Had she seen them? What if she told someone? What would happen to Zane? What would happen to him? He’d be screwed! His Dad would kick him out, his mom would be so upset. His friends would shun him, and his house would want to disown him more than likely! But he wouldn’t care, not if it meant he didn’t have Zane anymore anyway! He looked up at her dumfounded. ”How did you…No. No, it wasn’t it was some other uhh, obscure friend.”[/color] kaleb tried to cover himself quickly, not admitting to anything. If he didn’t admit to it, and neither did Zane then they would be fine. Without them admitting it, then they wouldn’t be able to prove it, and then they would be fine, nothing would happen and he wouldn’t lose Zane. Everything would be fine. He knew it.
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[Administrator]

walking down brick lane feeling blue

wind blowing lightly and i picture you

"Yeah, I know the feeling." She agreed as he explained why he thought he was stupid. Luckily, quarantining herself had allowed her to move on from those mistakes and learn from them, but something still sat in the back of her head telling her that it was a complete waste of time, and that she hadn't done anything wrong at the time. Her mother would have been very upset to hear that Vicky had just been sleeping around, and she didn't really want her to find out until she was certain that it wouldn't ever happen again. Unfortunately, you could never predict anything in the magical world, unless you were a seer or were talented in Divination.

"Oh come on Kaleb, out with it. There are things that I understand that you wouldn't expect me to." She said, now completely convinced that the beanie had once been Zane's. Come to think of it, she was pretty sure she'd seen it at his apartment too. He had obviously been quite fond of it, and it was clear that Kaleb must have been some friend of his for him to have parted with it. Victoria had a first hand experience of being more than Zane's friend.

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[kaleb]

Dec 31, 2009 13:02:32 GMT @kaleb said:

Kaleb smiled a little, comforted that she seemed to know how it felt. Although he knew it wasn’t exactly how he felt, well, that was unless she had a lover who happened to be a member of the staff. He doubted that highly however, and so he didn’t voice that concern. ”Yeah, I doubt it’s exactly the same, but thanks for that, it’s nice to know at least someone else knows even slightly what I’m feeling”

[/color] kaleb said, as even though it wasn’t exactly the same, he knew that she meant well. Little did he know though that she did know almost exactly how he felt, because not only had she had a lover who was a teacher, but he was Zane too, and Kaleb didn’t have a clue.

Kaleb met her eyes for a moment then moved his eyes to the floor. It took a moment of silence, but then his shoulders started to shake. He hadn’t cried in years, and suddenly he was crying in front of a Gryffindor! He’d broken down, he needed to tell someone something, he needed someone to know he had changed a lot more than they thought. ”I kissed him. I kissed a man, and I didn’t know, I didn’t know who he was, I didn’t know.”[/color] Kaleb was close to breaking down, he’d practically just confessed everything, and he didn’t even let it sink in that he’d told someone yet. He couldn’t believe the words had come out of his mouth. Tears fell down his face, and he could taste the saltiness of them on his lips. He hung his head ashamed at what he’d done, although he couldn’t regret it.

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[victoriabennett]

walking down brick lane feeling blue

wind blowing lightly and i picture you

"Any time." Vicky replied with a gentle smile. There was a definite change in his behaviour and personality as a whole, as he hadn't seemed this sincere and kind even in the girls' bathroom, and especially not around the castle whilst he hid beneath his typical Slytherin costume. She was glad that he'd decided to make these changes as they made him a much more pleasant person to be in the company of, and even regular Slytherins wouldn't dislike him being nice to them. After all, it was normally just other houses that Slytherins were unpleasant towards, they seemed fine with each other.

Victoria hadn't at all been expecting him to break down, and what he told her was the last thing she'd expected him to say. It didn't bother her at all that he had discovered he was bisexual, or accidentally kissed someone of the same gender at the very least. After all, her youngest brother played with Barbies and attempted to put on her make up, so she was pretty used to it. She shifted closer to Kaleb on the bench and put an arm around his shoulder, gently pulling his head onto her shoulder.
"Don't be too hard on yourself. You're not the only one that's got involved with him in some way." Vicky said to him.

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[kaleb]

Kaleb smiled again at her, he’d really underestimated how genuinely nice she was! But then last time he was too busy checking her out under a ton of bubbles. He laughed bitterly at how easy life had been then, he wasn’t even confused! But now he had headaches, as the confusion almost killed him. But he had Zane too, and he wouldn’t give that up, no way would he be able to! ”You are really nice. I’m sorry that I didn’t get to know you properly”

[/color] Kaleb said thoughtfully, but there was always time! He would quite like to get to know Vicky a lot more, without jumping into the, err, bath with her. After all, jumping into bed with her wasn’t an appropriate saying for what they had done! It was the bath rather than the bed in their case! And even worse, the girls bathroom, thanks to a mistake of his when he was feeling a little confused before.

Kaleb couldn’t think properly. He couldn’t control his emotion anymore, he had never felt so helpless, so vulnerable! He’d never had a breakdown like this, he’d never felt the need to spill his guts to make himself feel better. No, before he could keep his mouth shut and only say something when he was sure it was a good idea, but that was the old Kaleb, the fake Kaleb, and now the true Kaleb was out to play, and boy was he different! He spluttered when he heard her next words. ”What? You’ve been with him? No! Zane? Really?!”[/color] he could hardly string a sentence together! What was she talking about? Was she playing some joke? If she was it wasn’t a good one.


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[victoriabennett]

walking down brick lane feeling blue

wind blowing lightly and i picture you

"Don't worry about it, it's easily done." Vicky replied as he apologised for having not got to know her properly before they had had sex. It had been a rather pointless thing to do now that she thought about it, but there was no point worrying about it. What was done was done, and they'd both left the bathroom happy. Who knew, maybe she'd allow herself to be seen in public as his friend. A few weeks ago she would probably have cared too much about what her friends would think of her and kept their friendship a secret, but if they disliked her because of who she enjoyed the company of, they were no friend of hers.

"Yeah... I'm not too proud of it though. It was kind of like what we were like." Vicky said to Kaleb as he picked up on the fact that she too had been with Zane, though she began to wonder whether he'd gone as far as she had. By the sounds of things, the two of them had done nothing more than kiss, but who knew? Kaleb could've turned up at Zane's door just like she did, would he have pretended to try and send him away as well? If there was one thing Vicky was starting to become sure of, it was that Zane was a paedophile. He had barely attempted to get her to leave, and she wasn't convinced that it hadn't all been an act, a pretence... an alibi.

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[kaleb]

Kaleb nodded, feeling a little ashamed that they didn’t even talk for too long before they had sex. And that was a real shame, as she seemed to be a really nice girl, and if she didn’t mind, maybe they would hang out or something, they would get on well, he was sure of it! ”I feel so ashamed, I mean, I know it was what we both wanted then, but still, I feel so bad.”

[/color] Kaleb sighed, knowing that they both wanted it, so he shouldn’t feel bad! But then he thought of all the girls who were convinced that they were the one for him. Sure he did tell them that he wasn’t that type of guy, but they chose to believe, even if it was just for that night, that they were the one for him, and boy, were they wrong! He wasn’t a nice person back then, and he couldn’t attribute all that stuff he did to the guy he was now, because he’d changed, he wasn’t like that anymore!

“So you. and Zane. When?”[/color] Kaleb asked, unable to believe what he was hearing. So he wasn’t the first student for Zane, that’s why it hadn’t bothered Zane so much! But still, Kaleb couldn’t believe what he felt for Zane wasn’t real, he couldn’t believe that everything Zane said wasn’t real. He just couldn’t believe that he was being lied too. Zane wouldn’t do that, if Zane said that stuff then Zane meant it, he was sure! They were going to be together, and although that sounded like some sort of romantic fantasy, he wanted to be with Zane, as Zane made Kaleb feel new, different, good. He couldn’t believe that Zane was some sort of…no, it was wrong to even think that. ”But I think I love him”[/color] Kaleb admitted helplessly. He couldn’t think that what he felt was anything other than love!

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[victoriabennett]

walking down brick lane feeling blue

wind blowing lightly and i picture you

"Just think of it as dessert before dinner." Vicky said with a smile and a light chuckle, figuring that Kaleb would get what she was saying. It was an odd metaphor to use, but it applied to the situation. She wasn't sure as to whether or not they'd have got to the dessert if they had gone about it the way that most people probably would. Kaleb might not have changed, they might have decided that they didn't like each other.

"Sixth year. I got a detention in Defence Against the Dark Arts and... stuff happened." She replied, not realising that Kaleb was in his sixth year now, and his involvement with Zane seemed to be very recent.
"Then I went to his apartment at the end of October this year." Vicky added, not really knowing why she had continued, though she felt he deserved to at least know, he'd just come out to her after all.

"Yeah, that's what I thought originally, but he's found himself a new toy." Victoria said to him as he told her that he thought he loved him. She had probably been a little harsh, especially considering how he was feeling, but she didn't want him to be hurt the same way that she had been.
"Sorry, it's not really my place to say." She said shortly afterwards, thinking she should just keep out of it. Vicky and Zane were a thing of the past, she didn't need to get involved in his new 'relationship'. It was something Kaleb needed to work out for himself.

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