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Post by kaleb on Dec 29, 2009 13:24:53 GMT
` YOU TALK YOURSELF UP, and tear yourself down [/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - Kaleb walked up to the dorm, his head screaming at him, yelling about how much of an idiot had been. He’d just kissed a teacher, a male teacher! He didn’t know what had happened to him but he was not his usual self, he knew that much. He was battling with himself, wondering what he was, was he straight? No, he’d definitely felt something towards Zane, so he couldn’t be straight. But he did find women attractive, he knew that much so he wasn’t gay either. He’d settled with the middle, but he couldn’t even think the word. He’d never questioned his sexuality before, never, so he didn’t quite know how to cope with this little revelation. He kicked his trunk open angrily, trying to dislodge the thoughts that were running through his head. He was imagining what may have happened if the kiss didn’t get broken off, and he felt the unfamiliar heat rise to his cheeks. He shook his head and swore under his breath. Not good.
Kaleb pulled off his jeans and found a new pair, he needed to be in different clothes. He placed the beanie Zane had given him on the bed gently, he took care when he handled it, and that annoyed him even more. He grabbed a new shirt, it was white, with black horizontal stripes across it. He pulled his old one over his head and slipped the new one on easily. The walls felt like they were watching him, constricting him, and he was sure the portraits were staring at him. He scowled, and grabbed a different jacket, one that Zane hadn’t touched. He slipped his arms into it and kicked off his shoes, and pulled on new ones. He ran his hand through his hair, and his eyes darted back to the beanie on his bed. He scooped it up, holding it in his hands for a moment, then he pulled it onto his head over his messy hair.
Kaleb kicked the trunk again as he headed out of the dorm room. He climbed the stairs to the entrance hall and headed back out the big doors. He couldn’t be inside right now, there were too many eyes. He found himself sitting on the grass by the black lake, staring out into the dark water. He let his thoughts get lost in Zane, and what had happened, and a frown took over his face. Part of him was angry at what had happened, and part of him was angry that the kiss had ended. He hung his head in his hands. ”Gah, What the hell just happened?” [/color] He asked himself aloud, thinking there was no one around to hear him anyway.[/size][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - T A G G I N G Daniel
W R I T I N G 451 words
W E A R I N G clothes ;)
S A Y I N G He’s seeing the real Kale too lol
S I N G I N G Paramore- for a pessimist I’m pretty optimistic
C R E D I T I N G me.
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Post by daniel on Dec 31, 2009 15:40:11 GMT
 I used to be love drunk
But now I’m hungover
I’ll love you forever
Forever is overDaniel would spend most of his time, just sitting and moping around the common room. People gave him worried lookes, being in Geyffindor and all, but Dan just ignored them. He tended to get lost in his own thoughts, day dreams, memories. Memories. He wondered why such a thing was invented, becuase some memories just cut like a knife, and they can really hurt you. However, on the contrary, some memories were good and you never wanted to forget them, but what Dan was dealing with at the moment, was memories that he rather not have. The ones that caused him nightmares, the blood, the scream, and Daniel just felt so lost, that he sometimes cried, and it really wasn't a good thing. Sometimes, Dan just felt quite pathetic. Which, undeniably he was, but there wasn't really anything he could do about it, he couldn't help being sad and hating himself.
As dan walked down the duty corridors of the castle, that led to the entrance, he felt so suffocated. The heat spilled behind his skin, ans if burning him from the inside, and so Dan couldn't really stay inside any longer. His pace fastened as he started running, but the meories were still there, and he knew that he couldn't run away from them. As Daniel ran, he noticed that some people were giving him strange looks, while he just ingored them. All he was focused on was getting out, and he couldn't do that being trapped behind the castle walls. He didn't stop when he saw the doors appreaching, he just put his hands in front of him, and hit the doors with full force, makingt hem slam open, with a cool gust of air, that Daniel appreciated a lot. He could feel his skin becoming colder, but the heat behind it was the same as ever.
Daniel, feeling a burning in his chest, had to stop to cath his breath. Though he still continued walking. His pale fingers were in his hair, and he looked really pale himself. His dark eyes romaed around his surroundings, until he decided on a destination. The air was cool, but the coldness of the lake would help him more. So he set out, to reach the lake. When Dan quietly approached, he couldn't see anyone, so he was shocked to hear someone shout out. He didn't exactly hear what they said, but he pulled out his wand all the same, being quite paranoide. He stalked towards the tree, and automatically pointed his wand at the boy, without even checking if he needed to or not.
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Post by kaleb on Dec 31, 2009 16:19:22 GMT
` YOU TALK YOURSELF UP,and tear yourself down [/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - Kaleb let his head hang in his hands. His shoulders were shaking with what..anger? Or was it something more? He’d lost the thing he thought was himself, he knew that. The wall that he’d surrounded himself with for soo long was gone, and there was no one left but the vulnerable boy that had been hidden for years. He’d hidden himself away in some sort of tomb, so that he was protecting himself, and the people around him. He’d let himself slip out a few times with Sahara, but he’d gotten out of her life before it was too late. And then with Zane…well, now it was too late! He’d lost the mask that he’d worked so hard to make up, and all he wanted was to run back to that stupid teacher and hold him, have him tell Kaleb that everything was alright. But that wasn’t an option, he was a teacher, that would be so wrong!
Kaleb yelled and pulled at his hair, having a little temper tantrum because something had gone some way other than his. But there was a part of him that was glad, glad that he had let the walls crumble, glad that the nice Kaleb was free, because he hated who he’d become, he really did. The person he’d become had no regard for the feelings of others, and this old Kaleb, this nice Kaleb did. He could feel he’d changed, as change pulsed through his veins with the blood, each breath he took pushing it on it’s way. He looked up, as he’d heard footsteps approach him. His face was met with a wand, and for a second Kaleb saw a way out. ”Do it. For my sake. Do it” [/color] He told the wand, before his eyes went pleadingly up to the owner of the wand. It was a Gryffindor, he knew that, but he didn’t know his name. He didn’t want to die, but it would end the confusion, it would end what he was feeling, it would end the dread of what would happen if anyone found out.[/size][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - T A G G I N G Daniel
W R I T I N G 348 words
W E A R I N G clothes ;)
S A Y I N G He’s seeing the real Kale too lol
S I N G I N G Paramore- for a pessimist I’m pretty optimistic
C R E D I T I N G me.
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Post by daniel on Jan 1, 2010 16:08:50 GMT
I used to be love drunk
But now I’m hungover
I’ll love you forever
Forever is over The boy before Daniel seemed so distressed, that he couldn't help but lower his wand, and stare at him in shock. He wasn't sure if the boy really wanted to die, and Dan hoped not. He knew what it felt like to want to die, and trying several times but failing. And he didn't wish it on anyone, even a Slytherin. Yes, Dan knew that this guy was a slytherin, because of his liking to look around, Dan usually noticed him on the Slyterin table. With a small sigh, and running his fingers through he hair, Daniel looked at him. 'I won't kill you, but you need a pretty good damn reason to even think such things.' Daniel almost growled, he wasn't going to begome friendly with him, but he was merely curious as to why a person would actually want to see death for real, or even become hurt, and not die.
Daniel took a step back, almost scared. The look in the boys eyes was so pleading, that Dan felt his heart clench. No, Daniel already knew what it was like to kill someone, and he wasn't about to do it again. 'What's you name?' Daniel asked, with narrowed eyes. He wasn't trying to be mean, but he wanted to know the name of the person that he was socialising with at the moment. He was weird like that, he thought of people as strange until the second that he learnt their name, and then he had the freedom to judge them, or be dissapointed in them or shocked. It was just a way of life for him, and Daniel just tooked to the dark haired boy in expectancy, wondering id his reason for wanting death was a bad as his. Bad, as in losing the someone you love, and Daniel sincerely hoped not.
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Post by kaleb on Jan 22, 2010 15:00:24 GMT
` YOU TALK YOURSELF UP,and tear yourself down [/size] - - - - - - - - - - - - - Kaleb sighed as he saw the wand lower. The shock on this boys face was clear, and Kaleb realised what he had asked for. And he was ashamed of it too, for asking a stranger to take his life. He felt like a coward, for wanting to get away from all of this confusion so much that he’d rather die than live with it. My reasons are my own. Although, define ‘good reason’” [/color] He asked, wondering what this guy thought a good enough reason to wish for your own death was. Kaleb knew that his reason was not good enough, it was selfish of him to wish it now, and it was unnecessary. He knew that he’d learn to cope with whatever went on eventually, he just needed a way to deal with it. He couldn’t think what would be a good enough reason, but he knew that it would have to be that there was something really bad that happened to make someone wish their life away. He wasn’t poor, he wasn’t sick, he had both parents, he was good looking and charming at times, so what did he have to die for? Money didn’t make Kaleb happy, and his parents may as well be gone for all the love that they show him. And the good looks and the charm brought nothing but a few girls to his bed, and now the confusion with Zane. Kaleb’s heart fluttered at the thought of his name. The truth was that he had a lot to live for, but he just couldn’t acknowledge, or even see what he had in front of him yet. ”Romeo. The fool who lost his life for love”[/color] He said, shaking his head. The name, Romeo, was a pretty good one for Kaleb right now. The fool who met the one he loved and lost his life because he made a few big mistakes. He wasn’t the smartest person either, Romeo, as if he was smart he would have tried to do it some way that was ok, that didn’t result in death. But no, he wasn’t reasonable either. ”Kaleb, Kaleb Garcia, but call me Kale, if you like.”[/color] Kaleb added on, knowing that he’d probably just confused the guy he was talking to a whole lot. ”And you are?”[/color] He asked, wondering the name of his would-be killer.[/size][/blockquote] - - - - - - - - - - - - - T A G G I N G Daniel
W R I T I N G 393 words
W E A R I N G clothes ;)
S A Y I N G He’s seeing the real Kale too lol
S I N G I N G Paramore- for a pessimist I’m pretty optimistic
C R E D I T I N G me.
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